This is part of an ongoing series. See the rest of this series here, along with links to other resources for supporting your family as you navigate your own child’s gender journey.
Aiden
Jack and I went to the gym, and I loved it. But it´s not as easy as you might think; there are many variables, as Jack explained.
“I don´t get it, Jack; why are machines better than free weights?”
“They aren´t, I prefer free weights. But you´re still growing up, so it´s important to avoid exercises that could atrophy your growth. Take the squat, for instance: that would press down your spine, which is obviously not a good thing. But don´t worry, you don´t need them now, and there are other ways. Come, you´re going to do weightless squats with a twist.”
“How can I gain muscle with weightless squats? I have chicken legs!”
“Put your hands behind your head and stand straight. Yes, now, look front and descend on the count of 2 seconds and go up on the count of 4…very slowly, don´t lock your knees, keep them slightly bent at the end of the movement, yes, do 15 repetitions, rest for one and a half minutes and do 3 more sets.”
I almost threw up! When we went down the stairs, my legs were shaking! Jack made his point! I´m glad we sat down to drink juice, and Jack wanted to talk to me.
“I made you an appointment with Dr. Stewart, Amelia´s doctor. Talk to him, tell him about your situation, tell him how you feel and everything about your need to transition.”
But I can´t afford that Jack! I´d love to go; I need it; I desperately need help, but my parents are my bullies; they´re not going to pay for it.
“Don´t worry, kiddo, it´s on me. Your situation as a minor is not easy. I´m not your legal tutor who can sign for your blockers, but you urgently need to take care of your mental health. This is just the beginning and I know it´d be unfair to ask you to be patient, but I had a long conversation with Dr. Stewart and we will kindly ask your parents to allow us to dispel the myths and give them the right information about what´s happening to you.”
I couldn´t help but to hug Jack with tears in my eyes. What he´s doing is amazing! I worry about the possibility of that conversation with my parents, and I don´t think it´ll help, but now I don´t feel alone.
“Hey kid, one last thing”
Of course, Jack, what is it?
“You won´t be able to walk tomorrow! An aspirin might help. But don´t worry, it´s good pain! no pain, no gain”.
Amelia
I was at a party, and something strange happened: this guy started flirting with me. I could say I was flattered to be read as a girl, and probably at some level I was, but I don´t like men. I tried to be nice about it, but he was pushy, and I ended up annoyed, shutting him down.
I discussed that with Kate because many things went through my mind! I was a kid being a kid, ok? But suddenly, there was this flirting, and I felt like I was suddenly living in an adult world without any warning. I realized that kids are pretty much the same regardless of gender, playing and enjoying themselves, but that situation made me aware of social cues that I wasn´t prepared to interpret. Girls and guys behave very differently in those situations!
Kate, my guru, explained the dynamics of flirting and how people expect certain things from each gender. Women and men are read differently, even physical proximity can be interpreted in certain ways for each!
“Wait, I´m not getting it, explain with apples please” I said.
“Men are not supposed to get very close to women; that´s read as a threat. Women who get very close to men are read as easy targets, makes sense, right? Probably, you learned to behave as a man without noticing, and now you´ve been treated as a woman, which is fine, but you must learn social cues”.
My head was spinning! I realized that either that´s a skill I still have to learn, or I am blind to social cues. I was feeling comfortable being a girl, but parties and flirting are a completely different world to me. Other kids get it and use flirtatious expressions or body language. I don´t get anything! Kate said that I might be neurodivergent to a degree, nothing to worry about, but I should discuss it with Dr. Stewart.
“Did you know that being trans, you have six times more chance of having autistic traits?”
Come again?
“Brains that are connected differently… does that ring a bell?”
Totally! Being trans is the same thing! And now that I think about it, I´m highly sensitive, I don´t like loud noises, I´m rather to myself, I hate crowds and I´m amazingly intelligent! What does that make me?
“Hahaha! Yes, you´re very intelligent and special; that´s what makes you beautiful, so there is nothing to worry about, girl! Listen, if parties, concerts, or whatever are not your thing, they´re not your thing! So what? You relax and be you, there´s no rule, there´s no way you´re supposed to be!”.
Kate´s last words changed everything! This is great because I´m learning a lot about myself in unsuspected ways and loving it!
To be continued…
Go here to read the rest of the series.
This is part of an ongoing series. See the rest of this series here, along with links to other resources for supporting your family as you navigate your own child’s gender journey.
Aiden
Jack and I went to the gym, and I loved it. But it´s not as easy as you might think; there are many variables, as Jack explained.
“I don´t get it, Jack; why are machines better than free weights?”
“They aren´t, I prefer free weights. But you´re still growing up, so it´s important to avoid exercises that could atrophy your growth. Take the squat, for instance: that would press down your spine, which is obviously not a good thing. But don´t worry, you don´t need them now, and there are other ways. Come, you´re going to do weightless squats with a twist.”
“How can I gain muscle with weightless squats? I have chicken legs!”
“Put your hands behind your head and stand straight. Yes, now, look front and descend on the count of 2 seconds and go up on the count of 4…very slowly, don´t lock your knees, keep them slightly bent at the end of the movement, yes, do 15 repetitions, rest for one and a half minutes and do 3 more sets.”
I almost threw up! When we went down the stairs, my legs were shaking! Jack made his point! I´m glad we sat down to drink juice, and Jack wanted to talk to me.
“I made you an appointment with Dr. Stewart, Amelia´s doctor. Talk to him, tell him about your situation, tell him how you feel and everything about your need to transition.”
But I can´t afford that Jack! I´d love to go; I need it; I desperately need help, but my parents are my bullies; they´re not going to pay for it.
“Don´t worry, kiddo, it´s on me. Your situation as a minor is not easy. I´m not your legal tutor who can sign for your blockers, but you urgently need to take care of your mental health. This is just the beginning and I know it´d be unfair to ask you to be patient, but I had a long conversation with Dr. Stewart and we will kindly ask your parents to allow us to dispel the myths and give them the right information about what´s happening to you.”
I couldn´t help but to hug Jack with tears in my eyes. What he´s doing is amazing! I worry about the possibility of that conversation with my parents, and I don´t think it´ll help, but now I don´t feel alone.
“Hey kid, one last thing”
Of course, Jack, what is it?
“You won´t be able to walk tomorrow! An aspirin might help. But don´t worry, it´s good pain! no pain, no gain”.
Amelia
I was at a party, and something strange happened: this guy started flirting with me. I could say I was flattered to be read as a girl, and probably at some level I was, but I don´t like men. I tried to be nice about it, but he was pushy, and I ended up annoyed, shutting him down.
I discussed that with Kate because many things went through my mind! I was a kid being a kid, ok? But suddenly, there was this flirting, and I felt like I was suddenly living in an adult world without any warning. I realized that kids are pretty much the same regardless of gender, playing and enjoying themselves, but that situation made me aware of social cues that I wasn´t prepared to interpret. Girls and guys behave very differently in those situations!
Kate, my guru, explained the dynamics of flirting and how people expect certain things from each gender. Women and men are read differently, even physical proximity can be interpreted in certain ways for each!
“Wait, I´m not getting it, explain with apples please” I said.
“Men are not supposed to get very close to women; that´s read as a threat. Women who get very close to men are read as easy targets, makes sense, right? Probably, you learned to behave as a man without noticing, and now you´ve been treated as a woman, which is fine, but you must learn social cues”.
My head was spinning! I realized that either that´s a skill I still have to learn, or I am blind to social cues. I was feeling comfortable being a girl, but parties and flirting are a completely different world to me. Other kids get it and use flirtatious expressions or body language. I don´t get anything! Kate said that I might be neurodivergent to a degree, nothing to worry about, but I should discuss it with Dr. Stewart.
“Did you know that being trans, you have six times more chance of having autistic traits?”
Come again?
“Brains that are connected differently… does that ring a bell?”
Totally! Being trans is the same thing! And now that I think about it, I´m highly sensitive, I don´t like loud noises, I´m rather to myself, I hate crowds and I´m amazingly intelligent! What does that make me?
“Hahaha! Yes, you´re very intelligent and special; that´s what makes you beautiful, so there is nothing to worry about, girl! Listen, if parties, concerts, or whatever are not your thing, they´re not your thing! So what? You relax and be you, there´s no rule, there´s no way you´re supposed to be!”.
Kate´s last words changed everything! This is great because I´m learning a lot about myself in unsuspected ways and loving it!
To be continued…
Go here to read the rest of the series.
